Sometimes, saying that you are trying may be misguided. It preemptively allows you to believe that you only have to work half-heartedly towards a certain goal. You set yourself up so that in situations where you don't actually achieve what it is you set out to do, you can simply say, "Well, I tried," and use it as an excuse to get away scot-free."Do or do not; there is no try," they say. Do not try to sit, just sit. And in the same way, do not try to be, just be. There is validity to this notion, and I derive a lot of motivation from it.
But in terms of the person I am right this minute, I think that in the right context, and understanding the full depth of what I'm saying, trying is all that I may have. I say this, but refuse to limit myself in the way that the word try may confine me. I will exert my power over this word and I will not allow it to place me under any limitations. In fact, I choose to give it my own definition. For me, trying is: the moments and the series of instances in between implementing and accomplishing. It is beginning something, with a goal in mind, and the efforts that it takes to manifest that goal into reality. And so I will take the word and strip it of its negative limitations and allow it to change for my benefit, into what I need it to be.
I want to be honest in terms of getting where I'm going and being who I want to be. I think it's important for me to acknowledge the difficulty of embarking on whatever goals I have set. I say this only so that I can provide myself with context. By this I mean that I think it is best to be realistic in setting goals. I think it's important for me to acknowledge whatever doubt may exist within my mind in order to identify the source of it and resolve the underlying issue. And I think the first step to resolving these underlying issues is to identify the existence of them.
I hope that by me acknowledging my doubts, it doesn't hint at any insecurity or self-worth issues but rather, at the fact that I value honesty. I think it is important to represent my thoughts in all of their entirety, as opposed to filtering out the imperfect and leaving the rest because by disregarding the issues, I have in effect chosen not to resolve them, just to ignore them. Unless I am able to effectively deal with the imperfect, I will only be part of the perfect soul. And to be honest, I have no interest in being just a part of anything, I intend to be the whole of it.
